Maid MarianSue and the Fluff Club of Doom
by dragonfirechick
Summary: Mary Sues are taking over the Robin Hood fandom! But the Fluff Club ain't gonna take it lying down! What is happening to all the real Maid Marians? How can this terrible problem be fixed?


Hey, all! It's me again! This fic is for the Fluff Club! For those of you who don't know what the Fluff Club is, it's a group of people who enjoy reading and writing fluff. Contact sugarsprite if you need more details. This story is dedicated to my fellow Fluff Club Members, because without them, this story would not be a reality.  
  
Now, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, Mary-Sues are taking over the Robin Hood fandom. The good news is, I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance! Haha, lol, no, I'm kidding. The good news is that the Fluff Club is rebelling! This is a problem that ranks high above procrastination, even! And I didn't think that anything was more important than procrastinating. On with the fic!

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Maid Marian was walking through the forest. She was dressed plainly, and her hair was a mousy brown. Her eyes were gray. For the most part, she was a good, law-abiding citizen, unless the laws were stupid, went against her morals, or prevented her from doing what she believed was right. She carried a longbow and a quiver of arrows. Suddenly, someone stepped out from behind a tree.  
  
Maid Marian stared in amazement. It looked like...her, only the other person was much prettier. The other person's hair was longer, slightly darker, wavier, and had natural highlights that sparkled in the sun. Her eyes were also gray, but they seemed deeper somehow. Her clothing was tight, revealing, and clung to her curves. Her lips were in a sensuous pout, but when she saw Maid Marian, she smiled nastily. She pulled something out from behind her back and aimed it at Maid Marian. It was a tranquilizer gun, and she shot it at Maid Marian, who cried out and gripped her arm where the hypodermic needle was slowly emptying itself into her bloodstream. Her vision went fuzzy, and she crumpled and fell forward. The other person's smile widened. She dragged Maid Marian around behind the tree and shoved her into a glittering trans-dimensional portal, pausing only to relieve Maid Marian of her bow and quiver.  
  
The person became Maid Marian over the course of the next few weeks. No one noticed how the pseudo-Marian was much more beautiful than the real one, or how she was a feisty rule-breaker, or how much better she was with all forms of fighting and archery, or even how she had no flaws.  
  
Not even Robin Hood noticed. He did, however, find himself wishing to take this new Marian somewhere and do something with her. He didn't know what he would do, but it probably wouldn't be G-rated. PG, probably. Maybe even...PG- 13.  
  
...Meanwhile...  
  
Far away, in a world based on technology and Mary Sues, there was a house. In the house was a room. It was like a secret laboratory. It was deep underground, with no windows, and full of computers, and science stuff, and all sorts of other, unidentifiable things with knobs, and buttons, and dials, and little tubes. It would be enough to drive any button-pressing person crazy with delight, if that button-pressing person had been allowed in the room, which that person would not be. Allowed, that is. Anyway, it was very mysterious and secret stuff. Also in the room was a glittering trans-dimensional portal.  
  
In front of the largest computer was a comfy swivel chair. In the chair was a Person dressed all in black. He, or she, or it, or whatever, was watching the monitor. It showed how the pseudo-Marian took over the real one. A few seconds later, Maid Marian tumbled out of the glittering trans-dimensional portal and onto the floor.  
  
Another person approached the Person and stood a few feet away, head bowed respectfully. This person was also dressed all in black, but this one was definitely female. The Person in the chair turned to speak to her.  
  
"Take her to a holding cell and give the order to proceed with the plan," said the Person, gesturing at Maid Marian lying slumped on the floor. The Person's voice was cold and disdainful.  
  
"Yes, Master," murmured the woman, backing away and bowing reverentially. She walked to Maid Marian and scooped her up effortlessly in a fireman's carry.  
  
The Person dressed all in black watched as the woman carried Maid Marian away through the room. The person watched them, and laughed.  
  
And the laughter, strangely enough, was carried through a rip in the fabric of the space/time continuum straight to the heart of the Fluff Club Official Clubhouse.  
  
...Meanwhile...  
  
The Members of the Fluff Club were in the middle of a meeting. They had finished trying to feed villains to the Wombat Pit, and were about to commence discussing Extremely Attractive Men (EAM), when they heard the laughter. They were not in the best of moods, as the villains had somehow managed to escape their cages yet again.  
  
Sugarsprite jumped out of her large, comfy chair.  
  
"Feh!" she yelled, then she sat down again and smoothed her white skirt over her knees.  
  
Mianne and Enchantressofthestars looked a little startled. Black Pixie leaned over to them and whispered something to them. They nodded.  
  
Llyra Monroe looked at Black Pixie with interest. "What did you tell them?" she whispered.  
  
Black Pixie grinned at her. "I told them to blame it on PMS," she said.  
  
Everyone who could hear, that is, all eight Members of the Fluff Club, laughed, except for Sugarsprite, who simply grinned embarrassedly.  
  
"Sorry," she said. "Just lost control there for a minute."  
  
"Never mind," said Outlaw Eris, leaning over to press a heart-shaped cookie into Sugarsprite's hands. "We all have days like that."  
  
Llyra Monroe got a strange look in her eyes. Then she quipped, "What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind."  
  
Everyone laughed.  
  
"I thought we changed the doorbell from Evil Maniacal Laughter to An Arrow Twanging in a Tree," said Dragonfirechick.  
  
"We did," replied several Fluff Club Members.  
  
The midnight's magic looked scared. "But then, that can only mean that there was a rip in the fabric of space/time that allowed a bit of evil, maniacal laughter to enter the heart of the Fluff Club Official Clubhouse!"  
  
All the Fluff Club Members looked scared.  
  
"But what can it mean?!?!" several different people cried out.  
  
Dragonfirechick looked up from her laptop where she had been quietly checking FanFiction.net. More specifically, the Robin Hood section. "It means," she said quietly, "that Mary Sues are taking over the Robin Hood fandom, and someone is very happy about it."

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And that's it for the first chapter! I hope that it made you laugh, or at least made you smile a little. Review please! Please review! More is coming soon! 


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